The Yes Game

Brief Summary For Now

  What is the "Yes Game?" I will try to explain. Once a child is placed in foster care, assigned to a foster family, if the child, with or without the parent's knowledge or consent, is already selected for adoption, let the games begin.

  Said game works very well with children such as my daughter's age who was in placement at 6 months old. Yes, let the games begin.

  The goal of the game, to have a child so conditioned to give select responses to given questions, the child becomes the star witness in severing relations with the parents or further justify continued alienation.

  Lets take the foster family who has my daughter. Busy day and night playing the game. So, when my daughter is interrogated, the social worker or psychiatrist is ready to document the words of a parrot. (Enhancing this is bringing the child with the appropriate physical and/or emotional state. If need be, the child is deprived of sleep to be over tired. Or what ever fits the moment.)

  The first clue of the game was disclosed, from all places, the foster family at their home. When I would arrive to pick up my daughter, they were so eager to show off their accomplishments with my daughter's aptitude. (Thinking I would no see beyond that, while wondering how many other people they try to impress.) "Rosie, what is 3 + 3"? My daughter would respond, "Six". (With a correct answer to each prompting much fuss is made.) Then countless other questions leading to the response, "Six". How many blocks do you see on the table? "Six". How many this, "Six". How many that, "Six". The same technique is used with other numbers, colors and so on. The child doesn't think or look to count, it automatically anticipates getting a reward for saying, "Six". "Four", or what ever is prompted for reward.

  Then the game switches to the word "Yes".

  (I will break sequence for a moment, I knew my daughter was being interrogated after each time I brought her back to the foster home. (The cheese incident will be discussed later.) While having her for the weekend, I asked my daughter a series of questions, in a play manner, and was able to have her say "Yes" to anything I wanted. Here are some examples I would ask:

  (a) Do you want daddy to move the earth to the next Galaxy?

  (b) Rosie, do you want daddy to buy you a nuclear submarine?

  (c) Does Rosie want to visit the dinosaurs?

  My daughter said "Yes" every time. My daughter was almost two years old. Do you think she has the ability to answer these questions? At that point I knew I was up against a slick foster mommy.

  Then, such a game can be played to have a chid say "Yes" to sinister questions. But first, we need an interrogator that would not suspect any malicious intent upon the foster family.

  As for the alienation process, last year, exactly 12 months ago, recently getting extended, unsupervised visits, after bringing my daughter to Hazleton, I was showing my daughter pictures of familiar faces. I would point to a picture of herself and say, "Rosie, who is this?" She would point and say, "Rosie". Then, showing her a picture of myself, I would ask, "Who is this, Rosie?". She responded, "The man." At that point I knew trouble was brewing. Do you realize how much that hurt? That I was nothing more than Mr. Man. Some generic thing we see now and then? I wondered what they were saying to her every day? Such as, come Rosie, time to see the man. Man this or man that. Day after day. However, as for such techniques as object association, after a few weeks I had firmly associated my face with the word "daddy".

  I will add more to this later.

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Updated: 12-22-2001