Retrospective Evaluation

Part 4, Section 2

First Draft

Introduction: This is the fourth part of a six part series.

  When I took my daughter home on 06-03-2002, mixed in between her personal things, were several loose pictures in one box. The two pictures below are the front and back of, what seems to be, a laminated key chain tag.

  What is wrong with the picture? Before I present objections, I will attempt to balance out the review.

  But first, the foster family, viz. Carolyn and her one daughter, Amanda, took considerable time, effort and expense to compile a photo album, about sixty pages and via the social worker gave me a copy. Format and presentation? I have to admit a nice job, in part, of gathering pictures (far more taken than used), colorful layout, editing and computer skill. Carolyn placed a "copyright" notice on the front cover.

Front Cover, Picture #1

  So, I'll respect Carolyn's copyright venue. (Later on I'll comment on certain things contained within the album. As for the pictures below, that's a different story.

Picture #2(a) Taken mid 2000

Picture #2(b)

Before I continue, this block of text will be added to the first part of the Retrospective Evaluation. (1) Long before I met a woman and she got pregnant, this "system" is something else. (I can use a thousand expletives and it still wouldn't be enough.) One way of looking at things, if it wasn't for the system being grossly unfair and slanted against fathers by default, my daughter never would of been born because I never would of been selected for sperm scam #5. (2) One act, a pregnancy, on such a playing field, had various people intersect their separate lives and share, to a point, one focal point of interest vantaged by selected aspirations. (3) As I will hope to explain, what sickens me the most throughout this ordeal it that I have to go against the grain of my belief and posture myself in some sort of hostile, offensive-type of defense to have any sense of security.

  Getting back to the subject at hand, yes, what's wrong with the above picture? The caption? "Mom & Rosie". Interesting. As for the photo album, the first page has a single picture in the middle which includes three verses from Scripture in red lettering boarding at the corners. (I wonder if this text is also copyright protected?) Anyway, I have a verse of my own, "Forgive them Father for they no not what they do". Comment? Let those words ring true for as man continues knowing not what he does.

  At this point I don't know what to think. Did this foster family have any idea what I had to endure? The pain and suffering? My expense? Where they conscience of it? Did they care?

  On the other hand, I have no doubt that this family cared very much for my daughter. Back in the summer of 2000, when I first met this woman, Carolyn, my daughter was 11 months old before I held her. See the picture below. (The picture is a still from a video recording my first visit.)

  Taken at Bucks County  Courthouse, 2000

  Where is this leading? During that time, the last thing I needed was yet another threat. I was hoping that this woman was just acting in some neutral, humanitarian way. (That was not the case.)

  Towards the end of 2000, prior to when unsupervised visits started, I mentioned to my friend, Bonnie, that it would be nice to allow Carolyn and her family to have moderate, but continued contact with my daughter once this was all over. (In a way I was looking forward to it. Silly thinking.)

  On 06-03-2002, no doubt that was a sad day for Carolyn and her family. My necessary attitude towards this family?

  How to explain things? The other day I was walking towards the mall entrance holding my daughter when a lady went out of her way and opened the door for me. It was a kind gesture and I quickly responded with saying thank you. (As I write this, I don't remember what she looked like let alone stopping to get her name. A nameless, faceless person, for a brief increment of time, did a kind thing and was rewarded with a thank you. )

  So, necessary attitude? To say thank you and move on. Carolyn was paid for her services and she did describe herself in one letter she wrote to me as a "sub contractor". So be it.

  I was considering writing her a letter but quickly decided it would serve no purpose. Why? In my opinion she is oblivious to any concept of doing something wrong. As she said several times, "I'm only looking out for Rosie's best interest".

  A condensed list of mistakes.

  (a) "Come her Rosie, come to momma". I had to endure this woman speaking these words, and others like it, time and again in my presence; to my face?

  (b) The first time I walked into her home, I believe on 12-01-2000, there on the mantel, amongst the other pictures of the Giannini family, was a picture of my daughter square in the middle. (That was like a billboard with its own message.) I asked to borrow the picture as seen below.

Picture #3


  (c) By the end of the year 2000, my daughter was being told that my name was "The Man". Where did this come from?

  (d) Icing on the cake? On 5-27-2001, two days before a hearing, Carolyn and Amanda took my daughter to a local hospital, at around 10:15 pm, claiming that "smacked" my daughter. (This account is listed on a different page, Click Here.)


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